The first year or so, as a Pilates student, I would get so upset with myself when I could do an exercise one day and then had somehow magically "lost my touch" the next time I tried the same exercise.
I once "got" an exercise I had been working on for 9? maybe 12? months - and was shamefully surprised when I couldn't do it the next day. I remember thinking on the day I did the exercise "OMG! This is it! I have FINALLY made it! I did it! I did the thing!" as if my body, by itself, had decided it was time to allow me the thrill of this accomplishment. Nope. Notta. Wasn't true.
And the most interesting part of my thought process was that it was SO FREAKING HARD to do the exercise the day I did it...so why was I thinking it was no longer going to be a struggle? And also...
WHY DID I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THAT ONE EXERCISE??
Honestly, that "day" that I "got" it - it just meant that all the things that had happened that day or maybe even that week had finally ALIGNED for my body to be able to work through [whatever it was it needed to work through] for me to be able to do the exercise that day.
The body is an amazingly complex thing. What it can or cannot do each day or throughout the day or how it feels one day, one hour, or one week ago is also complex.
It took me years of positive reinforcement and retraining my brain to look at all the positive things I could do. I found extreme enjoyment in using and creating new variations of exercises for myself and for others. I became a cheerleader for myself as well as others. I still have "brain hiccups", but quickly try to turn my words and thoughts around after I feel I've let myself down. I try to remind myself that I need to practice what I tell others! I love seeing others succeed and I love helping others succeed, so I need to remember that the little things are wins for me, too.
Everybody has their own story. But guess what? Each body has its own story, too.
Mine is filled with years of sports training, knee injuries, back injuries, pregnancies, a c-section, PT for neck, PT for SI Joint pain, and a hysterectomy in June. Everything our body goes through shapes us and our experiences. All our experiences. Including movement experiences.
We cannot continue to beat ourselves up or break ourselves down because something isn't happening for us or because we cannot do something another body can do.
REMEMBER - you have not "lost" anything. You have gained an opportunity to create a new story, a new mindset, or a new way to move. You will continue to be fantastic - as you are.
XXOO
